It is 6:10 p.m. here in the Kudanshita Station in Tokyo. In a little while, my train will arrive. Good thing this one is not as crowded as the morning train or else I will lose whatever little amount of sanity I have left.
…Mamonaku ni ban sen de densha ga mairimasu…
It comes and the doors open. I enter to mingle among the chinky-eyed populace of this foreign country (foreign to me, at least). For a while I try to listen in on the conversations to familiarize myself. But as soon as I encounter a word that I don’t understand, I will stop and stare blearily at the darkness outside the windows (forgot to mention I’m riding a subway train).
We pass by stations one at a time (I forgot, once again, to add that this train is local therefore it stops at ALL stations along its route). When I get to my first norikae (transfer) station, I will get on the Express train.
Enduring again the long travel back home, I try to refocus my thoughts on why I am here. No one wants to go away for a long time. If I wanted to just get out of Manila, I would opt for a 3-month business trip. But no, fate or whatever it is presented me with something much much longer than 3 months. And what for? I’d like to think my reason is noble enough as I’d like to help my family (more like ‘had to help’ but that’s another story). I’d also like to point out that there is absolutely no way in hell you’re earning this kind of money back home unless you’re a bigwig or something. Yeah. So those are the reasons why I’m still here in this blasted train fighting a losing battle against boredom. Hoooohummm.
Ah, the train arrives at Chofu and I must get off and transfer to the next platform if I do not want to repeat one of my newbie mistakes (I forgot to change trains at Chofu and ended up traveling along the wrong arm of the ‘V’ route).
Squeezing my light frame into the extremely crowded Semi-Special Express train headed towards home, I fight the urge to gag. I’m sorry but I really do not relish spending an extended amount of time locked in a full train car with these people. It’s not being a racist or anything because every one of us has this certain smell that we just can’t tolerate. I am allergic to the smell of cigarette smoke and these people are fond of smoking. Meaning, I just can’t stand the smell and not the people (although sometimes it’s really hard to separate the two).
Fuchuu. Finally I get out of the crowded train and get into the local train waiting at the nearby platform. I try to blink several times to drive the weariness away but I can’t. Stress is part of the daily life of an IT engineer. And so I despondently sigh at the sight of my eye bags. The train finally moves and stops at Bubaigawara and then finally at my looooooooong-awaited destination.
While waiting in line to get out of the ticket gate, I briefly debate with myself whether I will go to the grocery or not. And because I’m already tired by the time I get to the station, I will opt once again for those microwaveable pastas in the sale section of the grocery.
The 12-minute walk from the station to the apartment I’m currently staying in provides ample time for thinking (as if the 1-hour train ride was not enough for such an arduous task). Well, whether you’d like to think or not, you have no choice but to do so. There are not so many people walking along the side-walks with you and the lights are spaced wide apart. Silence seems to be the theme in this side of the city as no noise could be heard. Not even the chirping of birds or the creepy night songs of creepy insects.
After a few mutterings of ‘ato sukoshi…’ I finally catch sight of that white and grey striped building. Ah home. Well, at least for now. I unpack the stuff I bought from the grocery, stuff them into the fridge, microwave my dinner, eat said dinner in front of my laptop that I use as my TV slash movie screen.
And then midnight rolls in and I lie down staring at the ceiling above me, wondering just like last night if this venture out here in the unfamiliar jungles of Tokyo is worth all the loneliness. Homesickness kicks in at the worst possible times and it doesn’t come lightly. I must say it’s not often because well, I’ve been a fairly stoic person most of my life and I don’t think that will change save for some specific moments. But sadness does come in gigantic bursts that sometimes leave me with a gaping hole in my chest.
After a little while, I will feel the pull of Morpheus and I will spend a brief time planning the things I want to do when I get to go back to Manila next year before finally drifting off to sleep. Maybe I will even count the remaining months before that trip or roll my eyes at the prospect of what the following day will bring. I will bitterly laugh at the absurdity of my thinking because there’s little possibility of something exciting coming up. I will still be leaving Kudanshita at 6:11 pm tomorrow and I will still endure the long and lonely ride home.
*Sigh* Same old sad and boring ride back home. Who knows when this will end.
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