kilcher04.net

well, i am leaving room for the gloom of the impending doom
that i knew all too well from the start. really this possibility
of my heart shattering into tiny parts can be such a painful art,
it stings, it prickles, like being rained on with pins and needles.
but you see, i should be more than able to […]

… | originally uploaded by kilcher
The gnarly grimace and its permanence,
melted like wax under the sun, transformed,
The sneer and its annoying ever-presence,
seemingly gone but really just metamorphosed.
The ubiquitous dark gloomy cloud above,
ominous and irritatingly omnipresent,
faded, disappeared, looked like it’s gone,
but it’s still there, only now it’s translucent.
That dark brooding figure so often reminiscent
of dysphoria, […]

you know i ain’t someone
you can easily trust.
look, there’s another one
who came and bit the dust.
you know i ain’t insisting
but stay if you really must,
quit it with the questions
’cause it’s all gonna be just
because, it’s expectedly unexpected,
something someone randomly predicted,
what a waste all this time well spent,
damn i’m so consistently inconsistent.
you trying to get to […]

Hey, I’ve got this little story,
I think it involves you and me,
and the concept of what might be,
versus that of what cannot be.
Hey, I’ve got this little theory
that it’s not all rainbows and puppies
and it’s gonna be mostly prickly,
s’okay, I got masochistic tendencies.
So I think this ought to be good
though I’m not really sure if […]

mamayang gabi maghuhugas ako ng plato,
magpaplantsa na rin ng mga damit ko,
magsasampay na ng nakalimutang labada,
para kunyari ayos lang na wala ka na.
mamayang gabi isasaayos ko ang magulo,
liligpitin mga nakakalat na alaala mo.
isasalansan, itatabi, sa kabinet ang tungo,
nang lumuwag man kahit konti ang mundo.
mamayang gabi maghuhugas ako ng plato,
lahat siguro ng pwedeng gawin gagawin ko,
para […]

bakit ba ang lalim naman yata nito?
puro paa’t kawalan ang nakikita ko.
kakaibang takot, nakakasira ng ulo,
sa kinatatayuan ko’y mukhang mapapako.
bakit ba may nanunulak na lang bigla?
kitang-kita mo nang hindi pa nga handa.
una-ulo kaya akong makikipagkilala
sa sementong matagal nang tumitingala?
bakit kaya ang lalim ng babagsakan ko?
aba’y hindi na talaga nakakaaliw ito.
ayos lang sana kung mayroong sasalo
o […]

Nasusuka ako.
Hindi ako makahinga.
Pakiramdam ko nilalamukos ang mga baga ko. Piniga’t-piniga ang mga ito hanggang sa maubusan na ng hangin.
Pumlakda na lang ako.
Wala nang lakas.
Wala nang enerhiya.
Ubos na.
Ubos na.
Tapos naisip ko na lang bigla –
Bilog at iikot pa rin naman ang mundo.
– punyeta, hindi bilog ang mundo. Isa itong flat disc na nakatuntong sa apat […]

hey, do ya remember me?
we used to talk about things,
things that i didn’t know about,
things that i still don’t get.
well, it did look effortless,
me messing with all your mess.
you said i didn’t have to try,
you’re wrong, maybe i’ll tell you why.
coz i try really hard, actually,
and i haven’t even seen you,
and i haven’t even got […]