Pambihira.
Kaya nitong sakupin
ang buo kong pagkatao.
Sumasabay rin ito,
wari’y itinutulak ako
habang pinipigil ko ang
padausdos na pagkakatihulog.

pagkatihulog? pagkahulog?
mali yata yan. ang tawag
dito ay pagkalaglag,
pabilis nang pabilis
na pagkalaglag sa kawalang
di ko mawari kung may katapusan.

kakaibang lungkot.

pambihira. makapangyarihan.
kayang tabunan ang araw
mula sa aking mga mata,
kayang tumupok sa katiting
na pag-asang unti-unti na
rin namang nawawala.

ngunit nahuhulog, nalalaglag,
ano nga bang pinagkaiba?
pareho namang pabulusok pababa;
hinihila sabay itinutulak nitong
sumasakop na lungkot na kakaiba.

pambihira.
kakaibang lungkot talaga.

Hold me still, hold me still,
I can’t seem to stop moving.
The clock’s tick-tocking me away
when all I’ve ever wanted is to stay.

Never restless yet never really at rest,
always so careful but fumbling at best;
so stubborn but so weak a will,
this lack of control is such a bitter pill.

Hold me still, hold me still,
time doesn’t wait, it just moves quickly.
Hold on to me, keep me until
I can’t stop drifting away inevitably.

Until then I’m here as you will,
until then just hold me still.

Clouds hover ominously above
and yet walking head on
and ignoring the incessant warnings
looks like the only plausible option.

The mouth opens as if to shout
let out the pain, drain out the agony
and yet the voice exists not
no way to escape this melancholy.

What is it clouding the eyes?
Seeing becomes harder as everything is blurry.
They aren’t rainwater, the skies have yet to pour
but they’ve fallen since walking out that door.

Where did the emptiness come from?
Currently at the bottom, possibly drop down further?
Nursing a void nothing seems to fill
no desire to climb up and no wish either.

Pull this useless abomination out, help her climb,
as the pit houses almost all her demons.
Pray before the numbing loneliness takes over,
pray that she’ll come back from yonder.